At Resting Tree, we offer Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy as one of our trauma-informed approaches. IFS is a transformative, evidence-based model of psychotherapy. It helps individuals in understanding their personality as composed of various sub-personalities, or "parts."

In this guide, we'll delve into the core principles of IFS, its use in trauma recovery, and how our early childhood experiences shape our "internal family."

Understanding Internal Family Systems

IFS proposes that the mind is naturally multiple and that each of us has a variety of parts, or subpersonalities, with unique perspectives, interests, memories, and viewpoints. The parts are categorised into three types: managers, firefighters, and exiles.

Managers

These are the proactive parts of our psyche that attempt to keep us in control of every situation. These parts strive to maintain control and order in daily life. They may assist us in being productive, maintaining our appearance, or ensuring we fit in socially. They might manifest as perfectionism, the inner critic, or the people-pleaser. They aim to protect us from feeling the pain carried by the exiles. However, they can also be overly critical or suppress emotions, leading to stress or anxiety.

Firefighters

Firefighters are reactive parts that step in when exiles break through the managers' barriers. They are named so because they try to douse the emotional 'fire' or pain brought up by the exiles. They attempt to distract from or numb the pain the exiles carry. These parts often resort to impulsive behaviors such as binge eating, addictive behaviours, aggression or dissociation. While these parts can lead to unhealthy behaviors such as addiction, self-harm or even suicide, their ultimate goal is to protect the individual from experiencing pain.

Exiles

Exiles are usually young parts that carry pain, trauma, or negative beliefs (burdens) from our past. These parts are often suppressed or exiled by other parts to avoid feeling the pain they carry. They are often isolated or suppressed by managers or firefighters to prevent their pain from coming to the surface. They may sometimes take over, leading to overwhelming feelings or reactions. However, acknowledging and healing these parts is crucial to achieving mental and emotional health.

The Role of the Self in IFS

In IFS, there is a belief that everyone has a Self which is the compassionate, courageous, and curious core of our personality. The Self is seen as the inner leader or parent, which can help other parts heal. The Self is characterized by the "Eight C’s": courage, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, creativity, connectedness, and calmness.

In a well-functioning internal system, the parts are healthily managed by the Self, similar to how planets are held in their orbits by the sun. However, when the Self is hidden behind protective parts, the system becomes unbalanced, akin to planets orbiting each other instead of the sun.

The Impact of Childhood and Attachment on IFS

Childhood experiences and the type of attachment established in these early years significantly impact our Internal Family Systems. The experiences that a child has with their primary caregivers help shape their internal parts and their relationship with the Self.

Secure attachment is established when a child's physical and emotional needs are consistently met by their caregivers. In such cases, the child's parts can lean into the Self, forming a healthy internal system.

In contrast, insecure attachment is formed when a child's needs are inconsistently met or neglected. This leads to the formation of protective parts that shut off painful feelings, resulting in parts that are more insecurely attached to the Self.

IFS and Trauma

IFS therapy has proven to be particularly effective in treating trauma. Trauma often leads to parts becoming extreme and burdensome. These parts maintain their extreme roles to protect the system from feeling the pain of the trauma. IFS therapy helps these parts to release their burdens, allowing them to return to their naturally valuable states.

The Process of IFS Therapy

IFS is a non-pathologizing, hopeful framework for understanding and harmonizing the mind and, thereby, larger human systems. One of its fundamental tenets is that, as we develop, we subdivide our psyche into parts, usually in response to life experiences that interfere with our essence and overwhelm our system.

The therapy process involves getting to know each part, understanding its perspective, and developing a relationship between it and the Self. This relationship is characterized by the Self's qualities.

In IFS therapy, the Self is not just a passive witness, but is encouraged to actively engage with each part. This is done by showing interest, asking questions, and providing comfort to parts that are scared or hurt.

Conclusion

IFS therapy is a powerful tool for personal growth and healing. By helping individuals understand their multiplicity and develop a healthy relationship between their parts and the Self, IFS therapy can bring about significant improvements in mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.

As you embark on this journey of self-discovery and healing, remember that every part has a positive intention. Even the parts that seem problematic are trying to help in their own way. With patience, compassion, and the guidance of a skilled IFS therapist, you can learn to empower your Self and bring harmony to your internal family system.

Links and Resources

IFS Institute

Book: No Bad Parts

Book: Transcending Trauma

The journey of self-discovery and healing is a personal one, and it may not always be easy. But with the right tools and understanding, we can navigate our internal landscapes and bring about profound changes in our lives. Remember, you're not alone on this journey; there are resources and professionals ready to help guide you. Your internal family system is unique to you, and getting to know it can be a rewarding and transformative experience.

Curious to find out more about IFS and how it may be able to help you? Find out more by contacting us at info@restingtree.ca or book your free consultation today