When the Ground Feels Shaky: Navigating Career and Relationship Uncertainties
Career and relationships shape our identity and sense of stability. When either feels uncertain, it’s easy for us to feel unanchored—anxious, restless, or unsure of our next steps. But uncertainty isn’t a sign that we’ve done something wrong. It’s part of being human. And often, it’s a quiet invitation toward growth, not a threat to avoid.
If we’ve been sitting in the unknown—wondering what’s next in our jobs or relationships—we’re not alone. Let’s explore how we can stay grounded when life feels unclear, and how resilience can emerge from the fog.
Why Uncertainty Feels So Uncomfortable
Not knowing what’s next can feel like emotional quicksand. Research shows that uncertainty activates areas in the brain associated with fear and anxiety.¹ Our nervous systems are wired to crave predictability—it’s part of how we stay safe. But in modern life, especially when it comes to relationships and career, clear answers aren’t always available.
And we’re not navigating this in a vacuum. The current global landscape—rising living costs, climate anxiety, geopolitical instability—can amplify our personal uncertainty. Economic stressors in particular can make career decisions feel more urgent or riskier, and relationship tension more pronounced. Even if our day-to-day lives feel relatively stable, the collective nervous system we’re part of is often under strain.
We might notice:
Overthinking and difficulty sleeping
A racing mind full of “what ifs”
Pressure to decide or “figure it all out”
The discomfort is real—and so is our capacity to sit with it gently.
What’s more, when our nervous systems don’t get the answers they’re looking for, we can default into old protective patterns—like shutting down emotionally, over-planning, or seeking reassurance from others. These responses make sense. And yet, over time, they can prevent us from fully listening to what our deeper selves might be trying to say beneath the fear.
Career Uncertainty: When the Path Isn’t Linear
Maybe we’re feeling stuck in our current roles, unsure if our work aligns with our values. Maybe we’re facing burnout, layoffs, or longing for more meaning. These are deeply personal experiences—and incredibly common ones.
We might hear our inner critics say:
“I should know what I want by now.”
“Everyone else has it figured out.”
But the truth is, careers aren’t linear anymore. Research shows that uncertainty in work is linked to burnout—but resilience and self-awareness can buffer this.² Small steps like clarifying our values, talking to a mentor, or giving ourselves space to rest can help guide our next moves.
And let’s name something important: rest is productive. Pausing to re-evaluate our direction isn’t falling behind—it’s creating space to move with intention. For some of us, this might look like exploring creative outlets, taking a course, or volunteering in a new field. For others, it might mean simply giving ourselves permission to not have the next five years mapped out.
Relationship Uncertainty: Navigating the In-Between
Whether it’s a friendship, a long-term partner, or a new connection, not knowing where a relationship is headed can feel disorienting. Questions like “Is this right for me?” or “Will things change?” are tender and complex.
We might notice patterns of:
Avoidance or over-attachment
People-pleasing or difficulty setting boundaries
Fear of abandonment or conflict
When uncertainty arises, our early attachment wounds often come with it. This doesn’t mean something is wrong with us—it just means something important is being stirred. These are moments to ask, “What does this uncertainty show me about my needs?” rather than “How do I get rid of this feeling?”
Common Myths About Certainty
One reason uncertainty feels so threatening is because we’ve internalized certain cultural messages—often without realizing it. These myths might sound like:
“If it’s the right path or person, I’ll feel 100% sure.”
“Confidence means never doubting.”
“Good relationships or careers don’t involve confusion.”
But certainty is often a retrospective story. Most of us don’t feel crystal-clear in the middle of big decisions—we feel messy, vulnerable, or scared. We can feel unsure and still be on the right path. Confidence isn’t the absence of doubt—it’s the willingness to move forward despite it.
Reframing these beliefs can free up emotional energy to make more grounded choices based on our values, not fear.
Tools for Staying with the Unknown
We don’t need to have all the answers to move forward. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches us to live with openness, choosing actions based on values—not certainty.
Here are some practices that help:
Grounding: Try a 5-4-3-2-1 sensory scan, or mindful breathing to settle our nervous system.
Self-talk: Gently appreciate and validate the part of us that wants control. Perhaps it has been helping us all along to stay safe. However, we might not need it to work as hard for now. If you are feeling conflicted within, read more from Parts Work Explained.
Values check-in: Ask, “What matters most to me right now—even if I don’t know the full picture?”
Healthy Routines: Having daily rhythms (like regular walks, meals, or journaling) can offer stability when everything else feels in flux.
Pay attention to our digital consumption: Are we doomscrolling news before bed? Is our social feed full of people announcing promotions, moves, or engagements? Let’s give ourselves permission to unfollow, pause, or curate what we see. Taking in less noise makes it easier to hear our own voices.
We might also explore reflective activities like writing a letter to our future selves, or imagining the kind of person we want to be one year from now. These tools can reorient us toward meaning, rather than clarity.
Seeing Uncertainty as a Portal
It may sound strange, but many of us look back and see times of uncertainty as beginnings. This space—the “in-between”—is fertile ground. Research on post-traumatic growth shows that uncertainty, when met with self-compassion and resilience, can lead to deeper clarity and psychological strength.³
In therapy, we often talk about the “liminal space”—the space between what was and what’s next. It’s often uncomfortable, but it’s also where new insights, creativity, and direction can emerge. As one client once said, “It felt like everything was falling apart—but really, it was falling into place.”
Journal Prompts for Navigating Uncertainty
Explore these prompts to deepen reflection:
Where in my life am I feeling the most uncertain right now?
What emotions come up when I think about “not knowing”?
What small values-based action could I take today, even without clarity?
What would it feel like to trust myself a little more?
Which past times of uncertainty eventually led to growth or change?
What’s one inner resource I can lean on right now?
What do I need to feel supported in this season?
Whose voice do I hear when I feel pressured to “figure it all out”?
What would it look like to offer myself compassion in this moment?
Conclusion
Uncertainty in career and relationships is undeniably challenging, but it’s also a shared human experience—one that can lead to profound self-discovery and growth. By acknowledging the discomfort without rushing to fix it, we create space for deeper understanding of our values, needs, and authentic desires. Remember, clarity often arrives gradually and imperfectly. The goal isn’t to erase uncertainty but to build resilience and self-compassion alongside it. With intentional practices and a gentler mindset, we can navigate the unknown with greater ease and confidence.
We are here for you
If you’re navigating uncertainty in your career, relationships, or sense of self, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. At Resting Tree Counselling, we offer a gentle, grounded space to pause, reflect, and reconnect with your inner clarity—at your own pace.
Whether you’re in a season of transition or simply feeling unmoored, we’re here to walk with you. Together, we can explore what it means to stay with the unknown and trust what might unfold next. Book online for your free consultation or email us at info@restingtree.ca to find out more.