Navigating Trauma: Steps for Self-Care in the Face of Guilt

Often, it's difficult to understand how childhood experiences shape our adult emotions. One such long-lasting emotion that stems from childhood or attachment trauma is guilt, shame or unworthiness. If you're constantly weighed down by a sense of guilt, it may be a symptom of unresolved trauma. Guilt is a complex emotion that can make you feel responsible for events beyond your control. However, understanding this link between guilt and trauma is the first step towards healing.

In cases of attachment trauma, individuals typically develop a sense of guilt for failing to meet their caregiver's expectations, even though it was the caregiver who was unable to provide a safe and nurturing environment. Recognizing this misplaced guilt is essential, as it can affect one's self-esteem and overall emotional health. Remember, it's not your fault, and it's okay to seek help.

Childhood trauma, on the other hand, often results in feelings of guilt because children tend to internalize blame. This guilt can remain deeply ingrained, impacting your relationships and decisions in adulthood. Recognizing this guilt as a symptom rather than a character flaw is an essential step toward overcoming it.

The Importance of Self-Care in Navigating Trauma

Self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity, especially when dealing with trauma. It's about giving yourself permission to put your needs first. Self-care is a practice that helps you maintain your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It's a conscious act that signals a commitment to your health and happiness.

In the context of trauma recovery, self-care becomes even more crucial. It's a way to soothe your mind and body, helping you cope with the painful emotions and memories that trauma brings. Engaging in self-care activities can help you regain control over your life, something that trauma often strips away.

However, self-care isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. It's highly personal and can encompass a wide range of activities, from taking a walk in nature to writing in a journal, practicing mindfulness, or seeking professional help. The key is to find what works best for you and incorporate it into your daily routine.

Expect to Face Guilt as You Practice Self-Care

As you embark on your self-care journey, it's natural to encounter feelings of guilt, shame or even unworthiness. After all, trauma survivors often struggle with self-worth and may feel undeserving of care and kindness, even from themselves. Because you have been conditioned to NOT have your emotional needs met, you will face guilt as you try to meet these needs on your own. You might perceive self-care as a selfish act and fear the judgment of others.

It's important to confront this guilt head-on. Acknowledge that these feelings are a part of your healing process. Remind yourself that you're not being selfish by prioritizing your needs; you're simply taking steps to heal and grow.

Feelings of guilt can also surface when you start setting boundaries as part of your self-care routine. Again, confront this guilt and remind yourself that setting boundaries is a healthy and necessary practice. You have a right to protect your energy and peace.

Responding to Your Feelings of Guilt with Non-Judgement and Compassion

When guilt emerges, it's crucial to respond with non-judgement and compassion. This means accepting your feelings without critique or an urge to suppress them. Remember, it's okay to feel guilt; it's a sign that you're human and capable of empathy. It may feel uncomfortable because it is unfamiliar. But it doesn't mean that it is unsafe or wrong to desire self-care or treat yourself kindly.

Below is an example of a self-compassion script that you can use while facing guilt:

"Today, I acknowledge that feeling guilt is a normal part of being human.

It's a sign I care about my actions and their impact on others. I am kind to myself and patient as I navigate through these feelings.

I forgive myself for any mistakes I've made, understanding they're stepping stones to growth, not a sign of failure.

I learn from these experiences and use them to guide my actions moving forward.

I continue my journey with compassion and love for myself, allowing myself to notice how i can transform guilt into a constructive force."

Practicing self-compassion is a significant step towards healing. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and understanding you would extend to a loved one. Self-compassion allows you to acknowledge your suffering, accept your imperfections, and understand that you're not alone in your struggle. If you find it hard to apply self-compassion, perhaps a further understanding about it will help. Self-compassion is not about being self-indulgent or shirking your responsibilities. You can read more about the true definition of self-compassion here.

Somatic Techniques that Help Release Guilt

Somatic techniques involve the body in the healing process. They help you reconnect with your body, release stored emotions, and develop a sense of safety and trust within yourself. These techniques are particularly effective in addressing guilt associated with trauma.

Grounding Techniques: This approach helps you reconnect with your physical presence in the environment. You might walk barefoot on grass, touch different textures, or hear out the different sounds around you.

Body Awareness Meditation and Breathwork: Paying close attention to sensations in different parts of your body can help you notice and release trapped emotions while focussing on deep and controlled breathing to release emotional tension.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This involves tensing and then relaxing each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head. It can help release physical tension associated with difficult emotions [3].

Movement-Based Techniques: Dancing, yoga, taichi, qigong or any type of physical activity can help express and release pent-up emotions.

Somatic Journaling: Writing about your physical sensations can help you understand your emotions better and release them.

These techniques help regulate your nervous system, reduce stress, and promote a sense of calm and well-being. By focusing on your breath or the present moment, you can create a safe space to confront and release your guilt.

The Role of Professional Help in Trauma Recovery

While self-care and personal strategies play a crucial role in trauma recovery, professional help is often necessary. Therapists and counselors trained in trauma can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate your healing journey. They can help you understand your feelings of guilt, validate your experiences, and guide you towards self-compassion and acceptance.

Therapy provides a safe space for you to express your feelings and fears without judgment. It offers an opportunity to explore and address the roots of your guilt and can provide you with coping strategies tailored to your unique needs.

Conclusion

Overcoming trauma and the accompanying guilt is a journey that requires patience, compassion, and care. Recognizing guilt as a symptom of trauma, prioritizing self-care, responding to your feelings with non-judgement and compassion, utilizing somatic techniques, and seeking professional help are all essential steps in this journey.

Remember, you're not alone, and help is available. You're worthy of healing, of self-care, and of living a life free from guilt and trauma. When you are ready to seek help, we are here to support you. Speak to our Trauma Specialist Counsellors, Sofia Daulat, Sho Sho O and Celeste Cai to find out how trauma-informed therapy can work for you. Alternatively, you can also contact us at info@restingtree.ca or book your free consultation today.