Let’s get this over with: Impatience and what it’s trying to teach us
Impatience is a pervasive emotion in our modern world. And daily, we receive mixed messages about it.
On one hand, we’re encouraged to adopt a more relaxed and calm approach to life, while on the other, our fast-paced society values efficiency and speed above all else. This dichotomy can make it challenging to navigate our feelings of impatience and find a healthy balance.
In this blog, we’ll explore the complexities of this issue, focusing on why we experience impatience and the messages it may be trying to relay to us.
How Impatience Shows Up in Daily Life
Impatience is an energy surge driven by underlying emotions (more on this shortly). It occurs when you feel like something isn’t happening fast enough.
It might show up when you’re:
In a traffic jam
Waiting (in line, for someone to contact you, for someone to show up, for an appointment to begin, etc.)
When you have free time
When you’re interrupted
When you experience a delay
Apart from these daily instances, many people also feel impatience on a larger scale. Perhaps you feel like you’re not where you want to be in life and feel pressure to quickly make changes or achieve certain milestones.
These are just a few examples of how impatience can show up in our lives, but it can manifest in countless other ways.
Where Does Impatience Stem From?
At its core, impatience is resistance and dissatisfaction with the way things are. This causes us to want to move past the present moment and into the future as quickly as possible.
But what causes us to be unable to sit with discomfort, delays, or boredom? Where did this habit come from? There are several possible contributors. Some of the most common include:
Society’s emphasis on speed and efficiency: Our fast-paced modern world values speed and efficiency, which can lead to a sense of urgency and a desire for instant gratification.
Pressure to achieve: Many of us feel pressure (from either internal or external sources) to achieve a particular outcome. When things don’t go according to plan or take longer than expected, we can feel impatient.
A need for control: If you’ve gone through experiences in life where you felt like you didn’t have any control, certain situations (like being stuck in traffic) can bring up similar feelings of lack of control and, consequently, trigger impatience.
Fear and Anxiety: With fear and anxiety, we may have trouble sitting with discomfort or stillness, leading to an urgent feeling to escape. Fear can arise from a variety of sources, including fear of failure, fear of not being good/smart/acceptable enough, or fear of being left behind or not having enough time to achieve our goals. When fear takes hold, it can trigger a sense of urgency, causing us to feel like we need to take action immediately in order to avoid the negative outcome we’re afraid of.
What Is Impatience Trying to Teach Us?
Impatience is a complex emotion that can hold valuable lessons for us, if we’re willing to listen. While it can be frustrating and overwhelming, it can also be seen as a sign that something deeper is going on.
Here are some of the key lessons that impatience can be trying to teach us:
The value of presence: Impatience can be a sign that we’re not fully present in the moment and too focused on what we want to happen next. By learning to embrace what is, we can give our full attention to what’s right in front of us, leading to more engaged and genuine connection within and outside of us.
The importance of letting go: Those who often experience impatience feel discomfort when they have to wait. By learning to be more patient, we can flex our emotional bandwidth to develop a greater sense of acceptance, tolerance and adaptability towards uncertainty, which is a common reality in life. Mindfulness and meditation can often help with dealing with the discomfort of sitting in difficult emotions such as impatience.
The need for self-reflection: Impatience can indicate that we’re not fully in touch with our thoughts and feelings. By taking a step back and examining our impatience, we can gain greater insight into our intentions, needs, and even our fears, which can facilitate helpful change.
The power of gratitude: Impatience can be a sign that we’re not being mindful of the things in our lives we have to be grateful for. By focusing on what’s going well, instead of what’s going wrong, we can cultivate an objective outlook and find greater joy in our lives.
These are just a few examples of the lessons that impatience can teach us, but there are many others. By approaching impatience with an open mind and a willingness to learn, we can gain valuable insights into our lives and find new ways to live with greater peace, purpose, and happiness.
If you need help understanding the root of your impatience and making positive changes, we encourage you to speak to a professional. Our team at Resting Tree Counselling is ready to guide you on your path. When you’re ready to take the first step, book your free consultation or email us at info@restingtree.ca to learn more.